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N is for
Negative Self Talk
“You are awful!”
“Quit now!”
“You’ll never win!”
Have you ever caught yourself saying these things to yourself? How
do you feel when you think like this? Do you let yourself get away
with it or do you put a stop to these thoughts and try to be more
positive? In this article I will address something almost everyone
has been guilty of at some point in their lives—allowing that
voice in their head to be excessively mean.
Be Your Own Best Friend
Take a moment to write down some of the negative things you have
said to yourself over the past year. Now look over that list and
imagine your best friend saying those things to you. Do you find it
hard to imagine someone who cares about you being so nasty? When it
comes to negative self-talk, I find it even harder to imagine that
the one person (you) who has to be nice to you is being so
mean. If we know our good friend – someone who always has our
back – would never be negative, why is it difficult for us to
be kind to ourselves? The answer is simple: because we forget
we’re supposed to be unconditionally supportive of ourselves.
My first piece of advice to combating negative self-talk is to be
your own best friend and say the things to yourself that you would
say to someone you cared about who was struggling.
Choose the “Good” Voice
In cartoons, whenever a person is struggling with a decision they
would have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. In
real life, these “voices” are in our head. We have this
devilish little thing in one part of our brain telling us all of
the reasons we will fail. In the other part of our brain we have a
cheerleader (AKA “Positive Patty”) telling us how
awesome we are and why we will succeed. Even in the most optimistic
and confident people both of these voices exist to some extent. The
difference between the optimists and the pessimists is that the
optimists rarely hear the little devil because they are too busy
listening to the cheerleader, while the pessimists are turning the
megaphone over to the negative voice. If your “inner
devil” is loud and obnoxious, you don’t have to fight
him and try to make him go away, tell
him he’s going to have to be content just hanging out because
you’re putting him on mute and are going to CHOOSE to listen
to the positive voice that’s keeping you optimally
focused.
It’s Not All Bad
I myself am a pretty positive person and am good at taking a
“glass half full” perspective. However, I recognize
that not everyone is wired like this and some people tend to see
all that could go wrong or has gone wrong and let that bog down
their minds. So I in no way think that “being positive”
is easy for people. In fact, I think that most people do see the
downside of situations, but this isn’t necessarily bad. For
many swimmers, in order to do well, they have to know potential
pitfalls and plan for them. They have to recognize mistakes
they’ve made in the past and work to make sure they
don’t happen again. This is when having a “glass half
empty” mindset is helpful, when it makes you work hard so
that you can fill up the glass. It’s only harmful if
you’re thinking “the glass is half empty and I
don’t have a pitcher to fill it up.” On the flipside,
someone who always sees the positive may become content and not
feel that their glass needs to be full. That contentment
doesn’t necessarily help swimmers to reach their peak because
they are too optimistic and maybe don’t put in enough work.
So again, being wired to see the downside isn’t all bad, as
long as it’s a motivator rather than a hindrance to
performance.
Change the Negatives
If your negative self-talk does start to get in the way, stop the
negative thoughts, reframe them and refocus them by following three
easy steps:
1)
Become aware of your thinking habits. Know situations in which you
have a tendency to be negative and what your specific mental
obstacles are.
When I’m in a tough workout, I convince myself I’m
tired and can’t go anymore. I catch myself saying,
“You’ve worked hard enough, no need to push it any
further.”
2)
Reframe the negative thought into something more realistic or more
positive.
“I have worked hard today, but I’m still afloat so I
can keep pushing even harder.”
or
“I know when I exhaust myself I have more confidence on race
day—that’s why I’m going to keep
pushing.”
3)
Refocus your thoughts on what is important now and what can help
you to swim well.
“Keep my strokes smooth and long, just like I want them to be
in the last leg of my race. I know I’ll be tired then so I
have to develop good habits now.”
As you can see, none of these thoughts are super-duper positive,
though you can certainly make them be if you’re up for the
challenge. Most sport psychology books will tell you to focus on
only the positive and throw all negative thoughts away. This is the
ideal way of thinking and is what you want to be working towards.
However, it’s hard for someone who is always negative to say
to themselves, “I can do it! I feel
great!” so if you don’t currently fit into the
category of someone who can flip the switch from negative to
positive, try to at least find a middle ground where you go from
destructive to constructive. If you are negative, start by just
getting yourself to be realistic, process-focused or slightly more
positive. When that becomes easy, then you should be able to bring
out your inner cheerleader and maintain a positive
mindset.
It’s the Little Things
Some people need a physical release from their negative mentality.
Wash your face off and say to yourself “wash away that
race,” do some jumping jacks, brush the “devil”
off your shoulder, listen to music, go over your race plan, have
routine…find something that triggers a mental/emotional
release from whatever negatives you’re experiencing. Explore
what works for you outside of swimming when you’re having a
bad day, see if that can help you at meets and practices. Becoming
a more positive person is something that will benefit you not only
in sport but in life in general. By learning how to control your
thinking you’ll experience greater enjoyment as well as
enhanced performance.
Make it Great!
Dr. Aimee
About Aimee C. Kimball, PhD:
Dr. Kimball is the Director of Mental Training for the UPMC Center
for Sports Medicine. She is an Association of Applied Sport
Psychology Certified Consultant, and is a member of the American
Psychological Association, the United States Olympic
Committee’s Sport Psychology Registry, the USA Swimming
Sports Medicine Network, and the NCAA Speakers Bureau. She works
with athletes, coaches, and parents to help them achieve success in
sport and life.
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